Single men are abundant when it comes to the Lifestyle. This often means that being “successful” as a single man can be a difficult and daunting task. As a single woman in the Lifestyle, I have seen numerous guys crash and burn without ever knowing why they failed. Here are some simple tips that can give you the leading edge over your competition.
1. Do your homework!
If you are new to the lifestyle you should make a genuine effort to learn as much as you possibly can. There are plenty of resources, just like this, on the internet that will help you learn the do’s and don’ts of the lifestyle. The fact that you’re making the effort to read this post is already a great sign!Remember that not ALL rules are written in stone. If going to an event or club – things allowed at one place might not be allowed at other. When in doubt call and ask if you have any questions.
2. Dress to impress!
Remember that you’re at the club to meet people, and you want to make a good first impression. Dress as if you would if you are going on a date. Leave the gym clothes for the gym, and choose something flattering and stylish instead.
3. Hygiene is key!
Good hygiene and grooming are extremely important. Simple things like trimming your nails and shaving your beard can make a huge difference. Also, always brush your teeth and use mouth wash. No matter how attractive you may be, bad breath is an instant turn off!
4. Be genuine!
Just be natural and socialize! Leave your macho attitude and any expectations at the door. Just being polite is one of the most important things a single guy can do. Don’t bother with cheesy pick up lines, or any pick up lines for that matter – they simply do not work. Better to be shot down for being you, then for being someone else!
5. Address a couple as a couple!
When approaching a couple many single men make the mistake of only addressing the woman. You should actually be doing just the opposite! Either address the man first or address them as a couple. This also means that you shouldn’t rush to address the woman as soon as her husband isn’t present. Sooner or later he will return, and chances are you’ve already started off on the wrong foot. The only time you should be addressing a woman individually, is if she is there as a single woman.
6. Choose your words wisely!
Even compliments could be interpreted the wrong way, so you should always watch what you say. For example telling a guy that “he is lucky to have such a beautiful woman” could make him feel insecure, and while meant as a compliment to the female even she might think it disrespectful to her date.
Also remember not to say anything negative. The old adage, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” still holds true. Many of the people at clubs are regulars that know each other, so talking badly about someone is an easy way to make yourself an outcast.
7. Never be pushy!
Not everyone is going to respond to you, sometimes you just have to move on. While being persistent might work at a non-Lifestyle event or club, it works against you in the Lifestyle. In fact pushy behavior can get you kicked out and banned from most events. You also should not ask to have sex. Everyone knows why they are there, and the fact that you’ve approached a couple let’s them know that you are interested. Wait for them to ask you!
8. BYOB, but don’t be “that guy”!
If the club allows you to bring alcohol, always bring something, even if you don’t drink! Bringing a bottle of vodka allows you to offer drinks to others, and it’s a great way to break the ice. Plus, it is very unattractive when a single guy tries to get drinks from others. On the other hand, you should monitor your alcohol intake and make sure you don’t drink too much. Know your limits. Having a drink or two can be a great way to get more comfortable, but no one wants to talk to the guy whose making a fool of himself or worse throwing up all over the place!