Image link
Image link

Recently, I had the chance to read “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. I was very impressed with the wealth of great information and ideas provided in the book and I would definitely recommend it it everyone both inside and outside of the lifestyle. Instead of doing a traditional book review. I’ve decided to highlight some of the chapters that really stuck out the most to me, and make each one a blog post.

One of the chapters that I especially enjoyed focused on how we can all improve our sex lives. The authors outline some of the obstacles that keep us from having great sex, as well as some things we can do to overcome them. Here is an overview of what I consider some of their best ideas.

Sex-negative cultural messages are at the top of the list of obstacles we face that prevent us from enjoying sex as much as we should. An earlier chapter in the book actually focuses solely on battling sex-negativity. This is an important issue. Early on in life many of us are taught that sex is shameful and wrong. Religion, family members, the media, peers, cultural ideals, and many other things can all contribute to our sexual views. If you are in the lifestyle, you’ve obviously overcome the negative stigma that is often associated with sex, but it is important to recognize that this stigma is still very real to many. Surely many people in the lifestyle can probably think of a time that they were judged thanks to sex-negative cultural messages. Enjoying sex is difficult when you find it disgraceful, so cultivating a sex-positive attitude is a very important step in achieving a fulfilling sex life.

Body image is another very big reason that people are not enjoying sex as much as they should. The authors point out that the advertising and fashion industry set out to make us feel ugly so that we spend more money on clothes, makeup, and plastic surgery. If we don’t feel good about the way we look, our sex lives are going to suffer. Exposing yourself to another is much more enjoyable when you are comfortable in your own skin. Surely a whole blog post could focus on different ways to boost our confidence levels. Eating right, exercise, treating yourself to some fancy lingerie, and getting a haircut, are just a few ideas of things that may make you feel better about your body and sexier in your own skin.

Disinformation about sex is another obstacle that the authors discuss. They point out that throughout our lives many of us are given inaccurate information about sex and sexuality. The only way to overcome this is to do our own research and discover accurate information. The internet can be a great resource for this, but remember that plenty of disinformation can be found on the web as well.

Speechlessness regarding sex is another problem that many of us have accidentally acquired. Our inability to talk about sex hinders our understanding and enjoyment of it. The authors explain that much more can be accomplished when we just use our words. We can find comfort from friends and have more orgasms with our lovers if we get over our embarrassment when it comes to discussing the act. Once you get over any speechlessness you may have, you can then work on learning to communicate. Learning to ask your partner for what you want is sure to boost your sex life in major ways.

These are just some of the ideas that are brought up in one of the chapters of “The Ethical Slut.” The actual book expands much more on them than I have, and the latest edition even suggests exercises that could be useful as well. I plan on covering other topics mentioned in this very thorough book in future blog posts. Again, if you haven’t read it yet, I would surely recommend it. Feel free to comment!

Thoughts on “The Ethical Slut”
Tagged on: