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While many of you may already be in happy and secure open relationships, many of you may be part of a couple in an existing relationship hoping to open it up to more sexual partners. Opening an already existing relationship is another subject that Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy discuss in their book “The Ethical Slut.” Opening up a relationship can be very exciting and rewarding, but it can also be scary. Here are some tips and advice they give to help smooth the transition.

First they touch on the possibility that only one person that is part of the couple may be looking to open the relationship. Maybe your partner is dead set against the idea, or maybe they could be swayed. If you are the one looking to open the relationship, you have to consider the fact that it may just not be an option for your current partner. Presenting them with a book, such as “The Ethical Slut,” could be a way to test the waters. Sex at Dawn is another great book, which I’ve previously reviewed, that delves into the unnaturalness of monogamy.

They also touch on cheating. The sad truth is that many halves of a couple are in open relationships without even knowing it. While much could be said about this and the difficulties this presents, I prefer to focus on the advice they give to couples who are both in some way ready to open their relationship together.

Making agreements is a huge part of opening a relationship. In “The Ethical Slut” it is explained that using strategies such as “don’t ask, don’t tell” might be okay at the beginning, but these agreements usually lead to trouble down the road. Other agreements, such as “always use protection” are obviously recommended and necessary. Being honest with any partners you have outside of your relationship is also important. Remember that those people matter too, and they have needs that they expect to be met as well.

Janet and Dossie also point out that it is important to take a look at the sexual chemistry you already have with your own partner before opening up the relationship. If everything is wonderful, that’s fantastic, and you’re in a good place to begin exploring more possibilities. However, if you feel that you and your partner may have fallen into a rut (which happens quite often), working on your own issues is an important step to take before opening up the relationship. Adding more partners will not magically fix a partnership. Opening a relationship is often complicated and messy, so it is not something that should even be considered until the two of you are confident about the current strength of your bond.

I hope this information will help you on your journey to a happy open relationship. “The Ethical Slut” covers many topics that anyone interested in open relationships would benefit from reading. Also, remember that all of the Adult Socials events provide a safe environment that allows you to explore with your partner. Whether you just want to get your toes wet, or dive right in, coming to one of our parties is a great way to do it!

Thoughts on “The Ethical Slut” Part 2
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